Saturday, February 12, 2011

Used Car Buying

Used cars worth owning, because, in the end, it doesn't matter what the car can do, but how the car makes you feel when you drive it:

1) 2001 Oldsmobile Aurora: As of today, there is an Aurora selling on for $6000. Why should Steven buy a Aurora? Besides being one of the best-looking cars of the 90's, it has a V-8!!!

Question: "What does a V-8 add to this car that a V-6 couldn't already do?"

Answer: "What does the voice of James Earl Jones add to the character of Darth Vader? I rest my case."

2) 1980 AMC Eagle: The first 4WD sports wagon ever!! We're talking a classic car: useful, capable, and rugged. A small car that you can still feel perfectly comfortable driving pretty much everywhere. What's not to like? You could go off-roading and camping and driving in the snow and it'd be awesome!!

3) 1990 Chevrolet C/K 3500 Long bed Duallie Pickup Truck: Cause it would be the best thing ever!!!! You could drive it around all the time and feel awesome and old-school and rugged and manly and sturdy and all those other positive-connotation words that you want to feel like!! People would drive around in their little cars and you could look down on them and laugh and say, "Ha! Not only does my truck's engine have TWICE as many cylinders as yours does, it also has TWICE the displacement!! (7.4L) And still only 230 hp!! Take that, 2.5L 300 hp Subaru Impreza STi!!! I could carry you on my truck bed!! Put my car on yours and I'd smash you!!"
And the engine would have this deep guttural idle that sounds like a 80 year old smoker, and there wouldn't be any headrests either!! You know that's what you've always wanted!!